--October 10, 2012-- The day my life forever changed.
But let's back up a bit to the weeks prior to 10/10. I went into false labor at 36 weeks; I went to the hospital and they checked me- I was 3cm. But after a few hours of being observed, I wasn't progressing so they sent me home- they wanted me to stay pregnant as long as possible since it was my first pregnancy and I wasn't full-term yet. For the next two weeks, I basically felt like each day/night may be "the day"...but contractions always ended up fizzling out. At 38 weeks exactly, "the day" finally arrived. Going to bed on October 9, 2012, I had a feeling that I would become a mom in the next day or so. Like I said, I had been having irregular contractions for weeks, but that night, they were coming more consistently and starting to really stop me in my tracks and make me take deeps breaths. I was woken up around 3am with sharp contractions and started walking around the house to see if they would subside or continue to come regularly. Although this middle of the night "episode" was actually a common drill for me in the weeks prior to delivering, this time felt different. I just {knew} this was it. By 6am, I told Tom I wanted to eat something light before we went to the hospital because I was pretty sure this was the real deal and I wouldn't be able to eat once I got there. I ate a banana and a granola bar, we got in the car and called our parents to let them know we thought this was it and we would let them know if we were admitted.
We hopped in the car around 7am and were on our way to the hospital- just 20 min away. However, it was morning rush hour....and each route to the hospital was basically a "busy route". Tom was very nervous and anxious, as each contraction came and I begged him not to go over another pot hole because I was in so much pain hah He asked me at one point if he should ride the shoulder the whole way and go through all the red lights..."I can't deliver a baby in the car!!!" were his exact words (lol)! I calmly assured him we had plenty of time but I would appreciate a smoother ride lol
When we pulled into the hospital, Tom asked me if I wanted him to drop me off at the L&D door but I wanted him to park in the lot and to walk in together...hoping the little extra walk would help move things along. I remember waiting for the elevator and swaying back and forth in hopes of relieving some of the pain. I had to make quite a few stops on the way up to L and D to catch my breath and breathe through contractions. A few of the same nurses from 2 weeks prior (false labor) were there that morning and when they saw me, and the tears coming to my eyes from the contractions, they said, "yep- you're in active labor this time!"
I want to start out by saying, that my L&D nurses were AMAZING! I never once felt scared or worried. They talked me through everything they were doing, explained what to expect and what was normal and really made me feel so "in-control" with my labor experience. I was not a girl with a birth plan- didn't have one for any of my deliveries. I consider myself a very realistic person and felt that you can't plan how labor and delivery would happen.
My "Birth Plan", when asked by the nurses, was, "I want an epidural and let's bring a healthy baby into the world."
They got me signed in, checked me and I was 4-5 cm at 8:30. They told me if I wanted my epidural sooner rather than later, they would get the anesthesiologist and I could have it in less than 30 min...I said, "Yes, please. Give me all the drugs- I don't want to feel a thing!" The anesthesiologist did have a little challenge with getting the epidural line in me, and I was having contractions every 2 min the whole time so it was very hard staying completely still and breathing through them for about 15 min- but we got through it and I was happy I had it done. They made me lay on my left side for about 30 min after I had the epidural because I still had feeling on the left side, but not the other (part of the challenge from getting the epidural in correctly). After the epidural was done and I laid on my side for 30 min., it was around 10:30am and my Dr. came in to check on me again- I was almost 7cm and she said she would break my water in hopes that it would move things along quicker.
For the next few hours, our parents were able to come in and hang out, and it was just a waiting game. Around 12:30, I told the nurse I felt like I really had to pee and was feeling a lot of pressure. She checked and said, "wow- you're 10 cm. and ready to push!" Tom and I looked at each other and smiled but also had a rush of anxiety and adrenaline at the same time. THIS.WAS.IT.
This was the moment we have both dreamed of since we were younger.
The moment we would become a mom and dad.
I pushed on and off for 3 hours. Brynley's head just kept "rocking" back and forth under my public bone with each push/contraction. After 3 hours of pushing and taking breaks, the doctor said that she could see Brynley's head of hair but I was going to need an episiotomy to get her out and she couldn't be in the birth canal any longer. I told her, "Go right ahead- I just want her here." After another 2 sets of pushes, Brynley was born at 3:53pm and it was the most surreal experience of my entire life. I was a mom for the very first time.
Each year, on her birthday, I write a little "Happy Birthday" excerpt to her to put in her baby book. It's cool to look back each year and see how her personality has/hasn't changed.
1st Birthday
Where has the past year gone? At this exact time last year, Daddy and I were sitting in morning rush hour traffic, as I was in labor. He was freaking out saying, "Should I just ride the shoulder the whole way and go through all the red lights?? I can't deliver a baby in the car!!" Calmly telling him to relax as I took deep breaths, yet very excited and anxious to meet our first baby girl...our adventure was about to begin. This first year of being a mommy has been everything I've dreamed of and more; it is the greatest gift one can ever receive. Happy 1st Birthday to my little bear, I love you more than words can say xoxox
2nd Birthday
I can't believe our baby is 2 years old today. Long days and sleepless nights seemed to make time go by so slowly at one point. Now, as I look back, that time went by quicker than ever. Brynley has brought so much happiness to our lives and continues to make us smile and laugh every single day. She is a great big sister, the perfect deterrence from shopping in a store for more than two minutes and always willing to join in on binge snacking. She is a tremendous eater, strategic bed time procrastinator and knows how to mess up a room and stain a couch like a champ. Mommy, Daddy and Liv love you so much Brynley and hope your birthday only get sweeter as life goes on xoxox
Happy 2nd Birthday Brynley!!
3rd Birthday
At 3:53pm, 3 years ago, Brynley came into our lives and forever changed our world as we knew it. She's brightened our days and brought so much happiness and love to our family. She taught us how to put another being before ourselves & each other and to strive everyday to be not only the best parent, but best role model possible. She embraced being a big sister and loves "being the leader." We love you so much Brynley and our wish for you is that you continue to embrace life with love and kindness and that your innocence never fades.
Happy 3rd Birthday, my little baby! Xoxo
4th Birthday
How can my baby be 4 years old? You are turning into such a sweet and smart little girl. Sometimes, I feel like you are teaching me more than I am teaching you! Brynley- Mommy and Daddy love you so much and can't believe 4 years have gone by since you were placed in our arms for the first time. We love you so much and are so proud of the big sister you've become. You are caring, lovable, smart and inquisitive...never let your kind spirit change. Mommy loves you- Happy 4th Birthday xoxo
5th Birthday
As I sit at the table here today, watching you walk around the room holding Delaney's hands, I can't believe I am writing to you on your 5th birthday.
I am SO unbelievably proud of the little girl you are becoming. You are a caring friend to all, an amazing big sister to Liv and Delaney, a great helper to mommy and daddy and a wonderful student to your teachers- you were born a leader. I often forget you are only 5 because you are so mature and have an old soul, just like Mommy and Daddy. My wish for you this year is that you forever see yourself in your eyes, the way mommy and daddy see you in ours'. As a bright, confident, kind, selfless, beautiful, little girl. Mommy and Daddy love you with all our hearts and look forward to watching you grow another year older. Never change xoxox
6th Birthday
Bryn, We are so proud of you- you amaze us daily! Liv and Laney love you so much; you are the leader of our pack. Not only do you make mommy and daddy proud, but everyone else in your life as well. You are an amazing sister and friend, always sticking up for others and being the "buddy" a friend may need from time to time. The most important quality you have is your kindness. It makes mommy and daddy so proud that I could cry. You are so smart, loving, honest and hard working- never change who you are. We love you xoxo
7th Birthday
How do we have a 7 year old?! Mom and Dad feel old! You have accomplished so much in this last year. You are an amazing student who excels in reading and writing and is always thinking of other's feelings. You got so tall this year- no one believes you're only 7! You've been a great big sister, welcoming Liv into LES as a Kindergartener. I know it's not always easy being the oldest- I know with that comes a lot of responsibly- but you handle it with ease. Thank you for being SO helpful with your sisters- I don't know what we would do without you! You're such a sweet girl- always stay true to yourself and you will accomplish GREAT things! Love you xoxo
8th Birthday
8?!?! I guess that explains my Gray hairs , huh? ; )
Brynley, I am so proud of you and all you've done this year. You've earned amazing grades in school, you're excellent team player in sports and the best cheerleader for your sisters at swimming. Your kind, helpful, sensitive and always thinking of others- you are an amazing little girl. I hope all of your birthday dreams come true this year and challenge you to try something new- learn a new skill or sport that may be out of your comfort zone. Mom and Dad will always be by your side rooting for you!
We love you SO much! xoxo